


Claustrophobia

by Writinginstardust



Category: The Illuminae Files - Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff
Genre: Claustrophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, also the reader has a fun risk of death, crawling through vents is gross but we'd all do it for nikkipoos, description of panic attack, kinda angsty kinda fluffy, supportive boyfriend Nik Malikov everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 07:06:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15528846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writinginstardust/pseuds/Writinginstardust
Summary: During the Bei-Tech invasion of the Heimdall (Y/N) has to evade the invaders to find and assist Nik and Hanna but crawling through the vents brings about some unexpected problems.





	Claustrophobia

“Remind me why I agreed to this again?” I asked as I stared into the darkness of the elevator shaft I was meant to climb. It was the dingiest part of the Heimdall station I’d seen yet which, though unsurprising, still put me off entering.

“Because we’re under attack by a group of elite psychopaths and you maybe don’t want to die?” Nik’s voice came through the stolen headset I currently wore. He sounded exhausted from crawling around the vents but still managed to inject some of his usual sarcasm into his reply. I looked down at the drop again and then back up to where I was meant to get to, screwing my face up in disgust.

“How do you know I won’t still die doing this? A nice quick bullet from Kali seems preferable to going splat at the bottom of this shaft when I inevitably fall.” I was going to make the climb obviously, I had a better chance with this than with Kali after all, but I wanted to delay it as long as possible.

“You’re not going to fall (Y/N), just get on with it and come meet me and Hanna.”

“Such compassion for the girl who’s going to fall to her death, alright I’m coming for ya Malikov, don’t have any fun until I get there.” I took a few steps back and made a running leap into the lift shaft, easily catching hold of the cable in the centre. I started inching my way up, my arms protesting every time I pulled myself further up. I climbed in relative silence for a while until Nik spoke to me again.

“Okay, Ella says you’re almost there, just one more floor.”

“Oh thank fuck for that, I feel like my arms are about to fall off.” As I finally reached the right floor I realised there was one huge flaw in our plan, “er Nik, how exactly am I meant to get out of here? The doors are all closed and there’s no ledge”

“Shit, wait a minute I’m asking Ella.”

“Thanks, be quick or I actually am gonna fall and die.” I could feel my arms trembling with the effort of keeping me up and I knew they’d give out soon.

“She says she can get the doors open but only for a few seconds before they override her. They’ll know where you are so you’ll have to get out of the area pretty quick.”

“Fucking great, where am I meant to go exactly?” I groaned as I pulled myself up a little higher to make sure I wouldn’t miss the doors when I made the jump.

“The vents.”

“Are you fucking kidding me Nik? No. Absolutely not. Never gonna happen. Think of something else. I’d rather fall to the bottom of this elevator shaft than get in those vents.”

“(Y/N) it’s the only way, you’re gonna have to do it.”

“Please, there’s gotta be another way. I-I can’t do it, I can’t get in those vents.” I could feel myself starting to freak out already. The thought of being in such a cramped space was terrifying to me.

“There’s no other way. I know it’s a bit gross but it’s not that big a deal.” Nik sounded exasperated but he was unaware of my fear and I’d always planned to keep it that way.

“Okay fine. Are we nearly ready on the doors? I’d like to get out of here.”

“Yeah, Ella is good to go. She’s opening them in a second, get ready to jump.”

“I’m ready, let’s go.” I started swinging my legs to build some momentum as I waited for Ella to open the doors.

The shaft filled with light as the doors just below me slid open. I flung myself towards the opening. One foot missed the floor and I grabbed hold of the wall, pulling myself through the doors in a roll just before they shut again. I lay there, breathing heavily and looking up at the ceiling for a few seconds before I got to my feet.

“Next time you need someone to climb an elevator shaft to come save you find someone else Nik, I’m never doing that again.” I heard him chuckle as I looked at my empty surroundings and up at the vent nearby. “Okay new problem to solve, how am I meant to get up there? You know I can’t jump that high right?”

“Ella says head to the right of the lifts and go in the third door on the left. There’s a desk or something you can use to reach the vent in there.”

I started walking in the direction they’d told me and sure enough there was a desk under the vent in the room behind the third door. I climbed on and pulled the grate off to gain access and my fear began to kick in again at the sight of the cramped dark space. Taking a few deep breaths, I raised my trembling arms and grabbed hold of the edge of the vent. “When I get there, I’m gonna kill you for making me do this, mark my words Nik.” I pulled myself up with tired arms as I listened to Nik’s reply.

“No you won’t, you like my pretty face too much.” I could hear the grin in his voice and I mentally flipped him off, he’s such an asshole, why did I fall for this guy again?

The space in the vents was bigger than I’d expected but with my whole body now inside the sides still felt far too close to be comfortable. I moved forward a little way, trying to keep my breathing even and the shaking in my limbs under control as I listened to the directions Nik was giving me from Ella. His voice had a soothing effect on me and helped to squash down the fear and panic rising inside me but when the vents started to narrow it couldn’t stop the panic from taking hold. I stopped moving, my breathing getting faster and heavier with each passing moment and my limbs unable to do anything but lock in place while my whole body started to tremble. I squeezed my eyes shut and tears started leaking from them as I tried desperately to get a hold of myself but to no avail. Nik was still giving me directions, unaware of the fact that I was no longer listening or moving until Ella, who was tracking me, let him know.

“(Y/N), why’d you stop? What’s up?” his voice betrayed but a hint of his concern as he spoke to me.

“Nik, Nik I’m sorry…look, I-I can’t do this, I can’t…I-I need-I need to…get out of here. I can’t, why did I t-think I could-I could do this? I’m s-sorry…I’ve got to get out of here!” I could hear the hysteria rising in my voice as I spoke and I knew Nik must be able to hear it too but I couldn’t stop it. My fear had gripped hold of me and I could do nothing to escape it. I was finding it more and more difficult to breathe and I curled in on myself as much as possible in the small space as I shook and sobbed. I could hear Nik curse through the headset, clearly being able to hear everything going on, before he spoke in a surprisingly gentle and tender voice.

“Hey, (Y/N), it’s okay, you’re okay, just breathe alright? Deep breaths in and out, can you do that for me?” I nodded before remembering he couldn’t see me and whispering a soft ‘yes’ as I attempted to do what he asked. “That’s it, just breathe. I’m here, okay? I’m gonna help you through this, you’re gonna be okay (Y/N).” His voice and soothing words were beginning to have a calming effect on me and my breathing began to even out more. “There we go, keep breathing, you’re gonna be fine, I know you’re scared right now but you’re gonna be absolutely fine. I won’t let anything happen to you, okay? Now, do you think you can keep going? It’s not much further then you can get out, I promise.”

“I-I can do it, just…please keep talking to me.” I was still shaking but I felt calmer with Nik’s voice for company.

“Of course. Okay so take the next right turn you find. Take all the time you need, you’re doing great (Y/N), I know you can do this just try to stay calm. Deep breaths remember.”

Another five minutes passed with Nik directing me in between words of encouragement and reminders to breathe. Those five minutes felt like a lifetime but finally the vents widened again and I could see light filtering in through a grate just up ahead. Tears filled my eyes again as relief flooded through my body when Nik told me it was the right grate. I crawled towards it as fast as I could, desperate to get out into the open again.

As I approached I saw the broken bars of light spread into each other as the grate was removed and the light’s obstruction with it. A moment later Nik’s head popped up through the gap and he waved at me. He dropped back down as I reached him to allow me to climb out.

The second my feet hit the floor I collapsed in a heap. My body was still shaking and my breathing a bit ragged from the trauma of the vents. I felt toned arms wrap around me and my body was pulled into Nik’s warm chest as he sat down beside me. He ran a hand up and down my back and whispered little comforts to me as I leaned further into him while my whole body shook. In his presence it didn’t take me as long as normal to calm down. My breathing slowed back to a normal pace and my body finally stopped its shaking as my tears dried on my cheeks and Nik’s shirt.

I tried to pull away, embarrassed to be seen so vulnerable, but Nik held onto me tightly and kept me where I was.

“You okay now (Y/N)?” he asked me softly, all traces of his usual teasing humour gone as he studied me with an intensity I’d never seen in him before. I nodded slightly and made a weak attempt at a smile. “I’m so sorry for making you do that, I had no idea you were so claustrophobic. Please tell me if you’re scared of something next time, I never want you to go through that again okay?”

“I just didn’t want you to think I was weak, you’re not scared of anything and I thought I’d seem pathetic.”

“It’s okay to be scared (Y/N), even I get scared sometimes, mostly about something bad happening to you if I’m honest. It’s good to be scared, it means you’re human, but you don’t have to be scared alone. I’m here for you always, you don’t need to worry about seeming weak with me, I love you and I’ll never judge you for something you can’t control.”

I started crying again as he spoke and wrapped my arms around his shoulders to pull him into a proper hug, unable to express what I wanted to through words. He understood though and squeezed me tighter quickly before pulling away slightly to place a sweet kiss to my lips.


End file.
